There is nothing more humiliating and degrading than having a hangover while at college.  Not only does this distinguish you as a lightweight when it comes to the competitive sport of beer guzzling, but it dehumanizes you and gives you an even smaller ruler to measure your self worth with.  I mean, what good are you to the community of our world if you can’t hold your liquor?  And being a rather small person myself, it’s even more excruciating in that I get drunk even faster than most of you tall folks.  The hangover, puking included, is particularly horrible while at school due to the unhygienic state which most of the bathrooms seem to flourish in.  I personally would rather pray to the porcelain god at my parents’ home, simply for the hygiene factor.  Translation:  I would much rather puke with Mom holding my hair as I kneel gracefully on the lush carpet of my tiny bathroom at home, than have my equally drunken friends laughing their asses off as I dry heave into a toilet that hasn’t been properly cleaned since the dawn of time.  Even putting up with the finger-wagging from Mommy and Daddy wouldn’t be so bad.  I could deal with it, if it meant I wouldn’t have to get tested for every disease known to man after throwing up all of the horrible food I’ve had for the past semester.  Now that you’ve heard that section, shall we move on to remedies?
 Alright, well, I’ve been told a lot of things work, like drinking lots of orange juice(which, if you’re puking makes NO sense, and burns like hell I might add…).  I’ve also heard that coffee is good, but that doesn’t really work either.  Then I heard about good old Gatorade…yes, I do mean that nasty “thirst-quencher” we all used to chug after CYO league games.  As I grab the neon green liquid from my sage older brother and ask, “Are you sure this is supposed to work?” the mere sight of the horrid stuff makes my stomach start to turn.  I thought this was supposed to stop me from throwing up everywhere??  Desperate for salvation, I drink the unnaturally colored fluid, hoping I won’t die from the taste.  Apparently, Alpine Surge Mountain Blast tastes somewhat like a cross between lemon-lime and mint.  While I can’t say for sure whether or not it really helped me in my time of need, I wouldn’t recommend it simply because…WHY WOULD ANYONE WHO ISN’T DRUNK DRINK THAT SH*T????  I still don’t understand it.  My best advice for anyone with a bad hangover…go to bed.  Sleep it off.  Cut class, whatever.